The other night I dreamed better, though I can't remember what about. When I woke up, I was still dreaming, as ridiculous as it sounds. It was as if I woke up and remembered the dream that I'd just left, only I was still dreaming it. I was controlling it as I've learned to do, but with the added quality of knowing that all I had to do was open my eyes and it would disappear.
I could hear the fan in my room blowing and feel the sheets against my skin, but I was still experiencing the dream itself as if I had never left it. The actual physical stimuli just sort of melded into the dream until I realized that I was no longer dreaming in the usual sense. I was confused for a moment, unbelieving of what was going on, but then I turned my attention to the dream and found that I could still control it exactly as I had. It was no daydream, as you might think. It was vivid and very visual, as if I was looking at it... as any dream looks.
After a minute or two, I decided to open my eyes because I could not believe that I was actually awake. Sure enough, I opened my eyes and almost immediately forgot the world I had just left. The fan was still blowing rhythmically and I could feel the sheets against my skin.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Running
I've had insomnia lately.
I've been running, but can't seem to tire myself out. Even when I do, I end up too tired to sleep, so I run some more, or I lay in bed and check the same websites over and over again, waiting for the sunrise. More people need to stay awake late, to keep me and the other night people company.
I had a truly awful dream last night. Awful enough that I don't really even want to put down into words it's vividness. Suffice it to say that I woke up at four in the morning and laid there for several minutes just collecting myself from the raw shock. I had to get up and walk around, pour myself a glass of tea, just in order to try to place it in the back of my mind. I did not succeed at this.
Though if I had, would it only have made it worse? Why was it in the back of my mind to begin with? It's structure had to be there in order to be so descriptively constructed in my sleep, so where did it come from?
I wrote it out and immediately felt sick.
I've been running, but can't seem to tire myself out. Even when I do, I end up too tired to sleep, so I run some more, or I lay in bed and check the same websites over and over again, waiting for the sunrise. More people need to stay awake late, to keep me and the other night people company.
I had a truly awful dream last night. Awful enough that I don't really even want to put down into words it's vividness. Suffice it to say that I woke up at four in the morning and laid there for several minutes just collecting myself from the raw shock. I had to get up and walk around, pour myself a glass of tea, just in order to try to place it in the back of my mind. I did not succeed at this.
Though if I had, would it only have made it worse? Why was it in the back of my mind to begin with? It's structure had to be there in order to be so descriptively constructed in my sleep, so where did it come from?
I wrote it out and immediately felt sick.
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